Since in this blog, we’re still at the introduction stage, I’d like to point out, like many authors did before me, that the English are quite socially awkward. It might take months before you actually speak to someone working in the same place as you but in certain occasions they might take a few seconds before jumping in amorous adventures with each others.

Let me explain. In France, when you’d meet someone, be them your neighbour, your work colleague or students in a students’ house, you’d have to say “bonjour” otherwise you’d seem rude. I tried to do so at work in the first weeks, no one would raise their heads. In the end I gave up. (as well as saying “have a good evening”). On the other hand, dialogues and exchanges would seem more reserved and polite as expressions opinions than in France where people would openly express their opinion and contradict you and tell you sometimes that you’re crap and a person not worthy of their consideration just because you don’t vote socialists or believe in God or are a foreigner.

Some Brits are so reserved that when you’d have a conversation with some of them, they’d just nod politely and express no opinion. But then again generalising is quite bad and it really depends on each person. I get the feeling that the feminine genre will more easily engage in a conversation rather than their masculine genres of the species.

Everything is generally calm and polite. Yesterday, we had to drive on a snow and the general feeling was that of solidarity and polite exchange of information and dialogue, which is very pleasant. In stores or other public places when someone would bump into you accidentally they’d immediately say “sorry” several times. But this was true in France as well, people saying “pardon, pardon” as much as they could. This is yet unlikely to happen in Romania and we still have a long road to go on politeness.

However, in certain social occasions all the British reserve is left behind so much so that their parties can be easily categorised into the “orgy” and “chaos” sections in other countries. Needless to mention the football hooligans a notion that speaks of itself. I think even Spanish fiestas are more light hearted than some British parties. Thing is, I’m nearing my 30′s and get gradually bitter and sarcastic, and no longer bound by hormonal needs of irresponsible drinking and behaviour with young man. So it might be just me.

I’ve attended only two parties as yet in England. The average age was between 21 to 27 especially in the first party  (my fiance and I being the eldest ones). In the second one it was different since it was the company Christmas meal.

Anyway, first of all dress codes. When I arrived in France I was expected the French women to be very “libertines” – wearing almost nothing or something similar to this and Hollywood’s way of romanticising the French image and Paris image in the films played a huge role, for sure. It was to my big surprise to discover they were wearing….normal, plain clothes, quite modest for some, with a chic touch for certain Parisians (the middle-upper classes ones, with a solid career and financial position). Anyway, trousers seemed to be quite popular amongst women in France. I never paid too much attention to male fashion but I think the most annoying type was a certain type of a French Parisian dandy, with a scarf wrapped around the neck, a sort of a smoking jacket, jeans and Converse for the younger ones.

When arriving in England I was expecting this. I don’t even know why but I blame it on the French continuous criticism of English taste.  Much to my  surprise I found English girls to be a lot more provocative in the way they dress than the French and sometimes even more elegant, but I wonder if this isn’t typical to my workplace. The English women I could observe seemed a lot more…feminine and assuming more their femininity than the French ones, having no hesitation in wearing a daily skirt or dress with heels (some too high though to my taste) at work. On the other hand I can barely see anyone go in the Parisian metro wearing mini skirts without being aggressed.

Party dresses, however, are a different story. It seems to me that, at least for the younger ones, every party is a reason for shopping and intense preparation months before (whereas in France or elsewhere we’d wear an old thing we had before and not spend money for the occasion or at least I would do that).  And it’s not just any type of dress, any tourist having been to Britain would attest of having seen some women, wearing miniskirts and tops in February under -20 degrees! The standard seems to be : mini skirt, high heels, cleavage and jewelry is never too much. My theory is that their numerous years of school in a school uniform makes them want to differentiate and go away from conventions which still makes them in the end quite similar to each other.

Girls seem to hang around in flocks a lot more than elsewhere and mixing later with boys for sexual purposes mainly. All sounds natural and normal, only we’d do that on the continent, when 16. At least I did, much to my mum’s grief – having had a violent and huge adolescent crisis at that age and being a lot calmer in my University years.

This is again not to say all Brits are like that and some of them are very natural and will have a harmless chat over a glass of wine just for good time as well.

However on both party occassions in Britain, when in the company of young(ish) people, I was quite amazed by their behaviour. Is it generational? Is it just me? They all seemed to disappear in couples for hours (much to the despair of my fiance and myself who were left alone and bored at the table and thinking how rude that was)- even if they had supposedly girlfriends or boyfriends at home. During the Christmas meal I could watch some girls dance in quite a professional manner (not formal professional) and saw pictures of them touching each other – a thing that would be quite unheard of in France during professional situations.  So whoever said “No sex please, we’re British” is quite awfully wrong, Britain’s is in fact one of the countries with most adolescent pregnancies and young ages for marriages in Europe! This fact and my English fiance can attest the contrary to that statement.

Anyway, as a conclusion, with a few exceptions, the English people seem to be quite nice, and polite and kind overall… Well intentioned if I were to define them. If the Germans would have tried to invade them less aggressively during WWII rather than bombing, they would have for sure invited them for a cup of tea and persuaded them to withdrawn through British wit and discussion.  I also tend to believe that an English person’s word is to be taken quite seriously : if they said they’d do something they’d pretty much keep their promise (with few exceptions) which, in professional situations wasn’t thought of in France .

Anyway, Christmas approaches so I’m looking forward for a peaceful Christmas in the middle of a certain family.

Right. So, a first dilemma would be, with the same type of awkwardness as two English men, in a room, when they haven’t met before, in what language should I write? I don’t want to sound big-headed but I fluently speak many of them and hazily cannot organize my thoughts in neither, that this is quite a dilemma.

So, since I’m a host in an English-speaking country, and when in Rome, do like the Romans, much to the grief of many of my French friends, I’ll start to blog in English.

Let’s start with the start.

And that start was in France.

No, that start was actually in Romania. In the summer of 1997 to be more precise. I was 17 at the time, at the first time I left the country through a Western European like type of Odyssey of two weeks. Two weeks of absolute freedom, discovering Europe’s most beautiful capitals and cities (Budapest, Vienna, Bruxelles, Paris and last but not least, London, where we spent most of the time). That trip was actually crucial, and pretty much the time I decided I had to get out of Romania (pretty much the second we set foot back at the border to hand in our passports). Why did I decide that? The reasons are so numerous but mostly leading to a general dissatisfaction with my country.

A few years later, at the University, still surrounded by that general feeling of dissatisfaction, I have the chance to go to France with a scolarship. Now, I hadn’t been as smitten with France as I had been with England – English having been my first language, both as a child and latter as a student, it was still a great opportunity – a chance in a lifetime – or at least this is how I perceived it.

I embarked immediately into it, and there I was in France.

Now, I’m not going to blog about France and my various states of minds running wildly from fascination in the first months through despair towards the end, while I was there, because that would be a blog apart, in itself! Let’s just say that the most important thing in the end for me, was to meet some truly wonderful French people that will hopefully remain my friends regardless of the distance (they’ll recognise themselves).  On the other hand, there’s a few people that I met that I don’t hold in my respect at all, in fact, I wish that what they did to me, would be returned to them, in a way. One way or another it already did – one of my former exploiters got fired, looking forward to see what happens with the other.

Otherwise I have often been quite cruely disappointed – but aren’t we all when we have to tackle life quite alone at times, and with no one side to side to help us? Most of my disappointment came from some random intolerant behaviour and employment – it has been a long struggle wich I almost lost in the end… But there’s a lot of good stuff I miss from France too – and most of it revolves around speaking French, strolling through Paris, in areas that I liked and going to a “cinéma d’auteur”. I don’t miss the traffic though.

So there I am, now, in Britain. The road that led me to it was long and full of surprises, very intense and I never really believed it would happen; but now that I’m here, I’m not going to miss the opportunity to observe the English and analyse them and give my own opinion (even if it’s irrelevant) on why I think they are like they are….

Before I left I did try to document on them by reading a few books (some funnier than the others) that I’d recommend to anyone trying to understand them : Jeremy Paxman’s The English, Watching the English by Kate Fox – a book that’s quite a guaranteed laugh, and bits and pieces from the Hungarian George Mike’s very funny How to be an Alien.

I’m fully aware I have only been here for 3 months, I don’t think a lifetime is enough to observe the others really, and even after 8 years spent in France I still couldn’t stop discovering new things each day but I can try with the most  powerful impressions.